Some Embarrassing Moments!!!!

Ok..tooo much of serious stuff in last couple of blogs.... now time for some humourous stuff....

Here are some of the Embarrassing situations which i could think of.... imagine yourself in these situations......

1. One day you are going down in the elevator when just another person in there whom you havent met until then, starts talking. He says 'How are you?" and You answer "Fine" surprised at it. He then says "What else are you up to" and you reply "nothing". Finally he turns to you and says "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!. It was then that you realize that he was talking on his Mobile

2. You are at a wedding of a relative of your loved one… and the brides mother is an unusually large, homely, unkempt woman...no matter what she wore or how she did her hair she couldn't help but look horrid. You want to say to her upon shaking hands in the receiving line.... ‘You really look nice’, (as You know she spent some time trying her best and it was worth the effort as she did look reasonably nice). You are all ready in the line and as you take her hand... Instead of saying "You really look nice" You blurted out... "You even look nice".. and that too in front of the Bride and Bridegroom and other guests waiting in the reception line!!!

3. You're walking up to your new boyfriends work and he's watching you approach him, along with some of his work friends and they're all checking you out. You're wearing these brand new sexy black pants which kind of flare with a split down the side, and yes one of your feet catches the other side of your pants, and you go flying, in front of all of them. Getting up from that one takes a lot of composure.

4. You have gone for a matrimonial get-together in some hotel. You find an amazing guy / girl staring at you. You reciprocate by staring! You start building hopes, hopes about going n talking to him/her, planning about future, wat if things work out wid the person n stuff…. Suddenly you see him / her whispering something into some elder person’s ears and soon someone from their end come and talk to someone from your end about fixing up a meeting. You are happy to the fullest, and then when introduction begins, they introduce the person whom you are staring at as their elder son / d’ter / son-in law / or d’ter-in-law… and thn the actual girl candidate / guy candidate comes… and then you realize that the person was staring at you for the candidate and not for self!!!!! [I have been through this :) :P…. trust me….. the marriage meet never happens but the embarrassment remains till you leave the place]

5. You are out with your loved one and his/ her friends. You were sitting in a room and u get an urgent urge to sneeze. (I think we all have this problem occasionally) .. but then when you are about to sneeze you fart as well.. Then you try to play it cool.. by acting like nothing had happend.. You could have swore, the guy / girl you love heard you but did not say anything. Wow. it sounds terrible and you face turns bright red.

The Suffix TION!!!

Now i dedicate this blog to my bestest best friend who has this affection for the word 'TION'...

We always seem to have a debate over the words like expectaTION, frustaTION, clarificaTION, justificaTION.... et al.. . (Today whn i had a fight wid him and those words again came up during the conversation...i thought of this)

Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhh finally found a para tht justifies his love for the suffix TION!!!!!!!!!!

"Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population "

Wassay Football??? he he he he

Aaah Goverment!!!

Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)

Monthly Salary : Rs. 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : Rs.10,000
Office expenditure per month : Rs.14,000

Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : Rs.48,000 (For a visit to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily BETA during parliament meets : Rs.500
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times)
(All over India )

Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free

Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.

TOTAL expense for a MP per year : Rs. 32,00,000
TOTAL expense for 5 years : Rs. 1,60,00,000

For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : Rs. 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores)

And they are elected by THE PEOPLE OF INDIA , by the largest democratic processin the world, not intruded into the parliament on their own or by any qualification.

Are they worth it, or would you prefer an IIM graduate (please think of this whenever you vote)

Mi Mumbaikar!!!!!

Things that proove that you are a Pure Mumbai-ite!!!!

1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south ofChurchgate.

2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which onlyBombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.

8. You pay Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, aspecies unique only in Bombay.

10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road,Peddar Road, Altamount Road .

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing, besides cricket which you follow passionately.

12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "BombayTimes" supplement.

13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.

22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Onions

Amazingly True!!!!! I am proud to be a thorough Mumbaikar!!!

Mumbai--The So Called City of Dreams!!!!

Some Interesting Facts about MUMBAI---The city of Dreams!!!

Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
There is no darkness in Andheri.
Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
No king ever stayed at Kings Circle. Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus. Nor is there any princess at Princess Street.
Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar*Tram Terminus (DadarT.T.).
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.
There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
Null bazaar does not sell taps
You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.
Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi,Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi

But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!!!

Jaisa bhi ho.... it always is a City where everything is possible, especially the impossible.

Where telephone bills make a person ill, Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen, Where the road is consideredto be a dustbin, Where a cycle reaches faster than a car

Where college admission means hard cash, Where college canteens are full and classes empty,

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum, Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes, Where the roads see-saw in monsoon, Where people first act and then think, Where the beggars become rich soon...

This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

Aah these kids!!!

Embarrassing yet amusing story!!!

Being a Mother ...

Being a single mother, shree always wanted to do everything perfectly when it came to raising her son. One day, he went to shree with the age-old question...."Mom, where did I come from?" Since shree considered herself a fairly hip, enlightened woman, she immediately stopped what she was doing and sat down with her six-yearold child to begin the oh-so important explanation about the birds and the bees. she navigated, fairly cleverly she thought, through the basics, explaining what she believed a six-year old would understand. He listened intently, his eyes never leaving her face, never once interrupting her and seemingly very interested in what Shree had to say.

She was feeling quite proud of herself, feeling as though she had met and managed a milestone in the "motherhood" department. Her pleasure with her success was short-lived, however, when her son looked directly at her, his head cocked slightly to one side and said "No, mom not sex. I mean like Lisa came from Pensacola , where did I come from?"

You just never really know what is going on in their little minds, do you??

(This was one of the usual forwards which i receive on my mail id. Liked it so posting on my blog...)