Stock Brockers!!!!!

1) Stock Market below 13000 points, Sign of Caution

2) India stock market below 14000 Points, What to do now?

3) Why India stock market is down?

4) What caused Black Monday for Indian stock Market?

5) Indian stock market lost 20 Lakh crore in seven days

The stock market has been concerning itself lately with realities, in contrast with hopes and expectations which ruled dealings from the first week of February until the middle of July.The stock market movements over the past few weeks can be best described as unpredictable. It goes a few impressive points up, only to slide back after a few days.

I found this very apt mail, which states the Condition & Life of a Stock Broker in future.

In the Year 5008, yes not 2008 but 5008, a little girl asked her father - "Dad who were stock brokers?" Dad replied, "Some 3000 years ago these were human like creatures, they were so many and suddenly some kind of environmental change happened, their fossils are found with some numbers with graphs, marking 21000 and then 9000. Scientist interpret differently ,some says it may be temperature changes , some says it may be density of the gas they use to inhale for living dropped below 9000 from 21000. Nobody has a clear view on why they slowly became extinct."

Life's Like that!!!!

Well time for humor again folks.
2 Live funny incidents that happened!!!
Incident 1:

This was when my friend was touring Haridwar recently. She was traveling with her family. And in the night when they were ordering for dinner, this funny incident happened.

She placed an order and then in the end she ordered “5 Buttermilk”. The waiter who was taking down the order, asked her to repeat herself, an she repeated “5 Buttermilk”. Can you even guess what the waiter must have replied?

Well he replied saying : “Kya madam, yahan aise kaise de sakte hai aapko, 5 butter alag se and 5 milk alag se de sakte hai, mix kaise denge”.

Now those who dint get the Hindi dialogue: translation: “Madam how can we give like that here, we can give 5 Packets of Butter and 5 Glasses of Milk separately. How can we mix n give?”

Incident 2:
A bunch of 11th standards, newly entered college, were standing at a railway station platform. One girl may have come from outside Bombay simply because she certainly dint understand Marathi language. She was from Gujarat probably, because it was a bunch of gujjus standing there.

The train was about to come and these girls, were asking each other to get in the train, they asked this girl also to get in the train because then there was no slow train after that train for next 10 mins.

She just wudnt get in, saying I want to see the next train after this. Everyone was like why? what is so special about it? And then she was like dint u guys hear the announcement… there is a burning train which will pass in some time, I want to see it.

The announcement actually was, “thodia velane ek jalad gaadi jaanar aahe” which means “In some time a fast local is going to pass by”.

Jalad = Fast. And she took it as Jalan = Burning.

She surenly doesn’t understand a word of Marathi…

Dilbert!!!!!

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Some Embarrassing Moments!!!!

Ok..tooo much of serious stuff in last couple of blogs.... now time for some humourous stuff....

Here are some of the Embarrassing situations which i could think of.... imagine yourself in these situations......

1. One day you are going down in the elevator when just another person in there whom you havent met until then, starts talking. He says 'How are you?" and You answer "Fine" surprised at it. He then says "What else are you up to" and you reply "nothing". Finally he turns to you and says "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!. It was then that you realize that he was talking on his Mobile

2. You are at a wedding of a relative of your loved one… and the brides mother is an unusually large, homely, unkempt woman...no matter what she wore or how she did her hair she couldn't help but look horrid. You want to say to her upon shaking hands in the receiving line.... ‘You really look nice’, (as You know she spent some time trying her best and it was worth the effort as she did look reasonably nice). You are all ready in the line and as you take her hand... Instead of saying "You really look nice" You blurted out... "You even look nice".. and that too in front of the Bride and Bridegroom and other guests waiting in the reception line!!!

3. You're walking up to your new boyfriends work and he's watching you approach him, along with some of his work friends and they're all checking you out. You're wearing these brand new sexy black pants which kind of flare with a split down the side, and yes one of your feet catches the other side of your pants, and you go flying, in front of all of them. Getting up from that one takes a lot of composure.

4. You have gone for a matrimonial get-together in some hotel. You find an amazing guy / girl staring at you. You reciprocate by staring! You start building hopes, hopes about going n talking to him/her, planning about future, wat if things work out wid the person n stuff…. Suddenly you see him / her whispering something into some elder person’s ears and soon someone from their end come and talk to someone from your end about fixing up a meeting. You are happy to the fullest, and then when introduction begins, they introduce the person whom you are staring at as their elder son / d’ter / son-in law / or d’ter-in-law… and thn the actual girl candidate / guy candidate comes… and then you realize that the person was staring at you for the candidate and not for self!!!!! [I have been through this :) :P…. trust me….. the marriage meet never happens but the embarrassment remains till you leave the place]

5. You are out with your loved one and his/ her friends. You were sitting in a room and u get an urgent urge to sneeze. (I think we all have this problem occasionally) .. but then when you are about to sneeze you fart as well.. Then you try to play it cool.. by acting like nothing had happend.. You could have swore, the guy / girl you love heard you but did not say anything. Wow. it sounds terrible and you face turns bright red.

The Suffix TION!!!

Now i dedicate this blog to my bestest best friend who has this affection for the word 'TION'...

We always seem to have a debate over the words like expectaTION, frustaTION, clarificaTION, justificaTION.... et al.. . (Today whn i had a fight wid him and those words again came up during the conversation...i thought of this)

Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhh finally found a para tht justifies his love for the suffix TION!!!!!!!!!!

"Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population "

Wassay Football??? he he he he

Aah these kids!!!

Embarrassing yet amusing story!!!

Being a Mother ...

Being a single mother, shree always wanted to do everything perfectly when it came to raising her son. One day, he went to shree with the age-old question...."Mom, where did I come from?" Since shree considered herself a fairly hip, enlightened woman, she immediately stopped what she was doing and sat down with her six-yearold child to begin the oh-so important explanation about the birds and the bees. she navigated, fairly cleverly she thought, through the basics, explaining what she believed a six-year old would understand. He listened intently, his eyes never leaving her face, never once interrupting her and seemingly very interested in what Shree had to say.

She was feeling quite proud of herself, feeling as though she had met and managed a milestone in the "motherhood" department. Her pleasure with her success was short-lived, however, when her son looked directly at her, his head cocked slightly to one side and said "No, mom not sex. I mean like Lisa came from Pensacola , where did I come from?"

You just never really know what is going on in their little minds, do you??

(This was one of the usual forwards which i receive on my mail id. Liked it so posting on my blog...)

The Pink City- For the woman,Of the Woman,By the woman!!!

Male Chauvinists Beware!!!!!

Today's paper carried an article where it says that China has plans for a city where women will rule..... What If??? Just What if ...........................

With a Quivering Pen, A MAN puts down what we would expect from such a city...........

1. Every shop in the town would host a sale 365 days of the year. There is no credit limit. And oh, lots of dressing rooms! The best part? Every shopper is given one male to take with her, who marvels at each of her purchases with earnest interest and gives his honest opinion without ever getting bored.

2. Parallel parking? What parallel parking? All Rules Regarding the parking has been dropped. In case you bang into another vehicle, apologising with a sweet smile and a flutter of the eyelashes is seen as fair compensation.

3. Anyway, men don't need to travel. They'll barely have enough time from their household chores. The local trains in this town will therefore have just one coach in every train reserved for men… should be enough

4. All sports channels are banned. The television channels will have soaps, Desperate Housewives and a special 24-hour version of Oprah. All the theatres show only Julia Roberts' movies. The city library, named after Barbara Cartland, stocks only Mills and Boon, Bridget Jones' Diary and every Cosmopolitan published to date.

5. Salads, salads, salads! Everything is fatfree, carb-free and low-sugar. When you order here, you tell them how many calories you want and they'll make it accordingly. Mc-Donalds has come up with a special burger for this town Little Mac! So tiny, you don't know whether you ate it or inhaled it!

6. No one says the F-word. Oh wait, not the expletive, we meant the 3-letter one that rhymes with 'cat'---i.e. 'FAT'. Mentioning that word in a sentence that contains 'dress' and 'your behind' is punishable by death

7. Technology in women's world comes in 3 colours - pink, light pink or dark pink. To get rid of all ambiguity, every device has only 2 buttons – Yes or No. All phone calls are free

8.Toilet seats are permanently nailed in. If you gotta go, you had better be seated when you do

9.Immigration clearance is dependant on your knowing the difference between mauve and fuschia.

10. No male warrior adulation! The airport, the main railway terminal, the largest park and pretty much everything is named after Jhansi ki Rani or Helen of Troy

11. There is no religious discrimination in women's world. Gucci is God and everyone stands united under the one religion of fashion

12. All bar dancers are males. Bouncers won't be required. There'll be no pub brawls. If two women do get into a catfight, getting involved is crazy anyway.

The motto of the new town will be "women never make mistakes, and men can never refuse women's requests." Now that should send shivers down the spines of every man who has sat in the passenger seat of a car driven by a woman.......

Wat say men ??????????

(ref: Mumbai Mirror)